Lazuline Life

You know your marriage isn't going well when...

• Your husband whacks the shit out of you on the first night of your honeymoon. Over a smoking argument.
• Your husband gets drunk at his best friend's bachelor party and slaps you hard. Because he couldn't have sex.
• Your husband has a bad day at work, gets drunk and wrings your wrist hard, leaving it sprained and blue the next day. Because he couldn't have sex.
• You need to wear a sprain bandage for three days, and your husband doesn't know about it.
• Your husband says he "compromised" on his choice of wife by marrying you. Thrice.
• Your husband says he doesn't trust you, and calls you a chronic liar. Everyday.
• Your husband yells at you, in public, in the middle of the gynaec's lobby, and says you'll be the death of him.
• Your husband blames you for not using contraception, when the fact is the pill caused complications and you needed to take a break from it. For one month only.
• You and your husband speak a sum total of five sentences to each other over 48 hours. 48 normal, non-fighting hours.
• Your husband yells at you and calls you a fucking loudmouth because you dared to speak while he was watching TV.
• You wake up every night with nightmares, and are therefore tired all day next day. And your husband doesn't know about it.
• You try to tell your husband about an issue, and he says "why are you ruining our evening"
• You have faked orgasm since the first night of your honeymoon.
• You have come to detest sex.
• You're so mindfucked that there are simply days on end that you don't eat at all.
• You see a psychiatrist twice a week, and your husband doesn't know about it.

posted by La Eposa @ 12:48 AM